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My Moment by Taiga

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Silence. This is all I heard and all I felt. It’s a rare thing for me. Rare also for my team. Few things could precipitate such a deafening silence. In our case, it was the possibility of the biggest blow of our collective career. Losing a game with a net 60,000 lead… That would have been one of the biggest throws in Dota’s history. When my teammates fell, that’s what we all thought would happen. There was no frustration, anger, or sadness. There was only one shock. It was all we could do to deal with what had happened. That was it: all our hopes for the Major were gone in a single instant. Fortunately, there was still a moment to come. My moment, one of many to come. I guess I often get those chances because of the heroes I love to play. For some reason my team has confidence in me to play these great flashy team fight heroes. They are some of my favorites to play, of course, so I have no problem with that, even when we’re in the playoffs. I mean we’re one game away from being knocked out and iNSaNiA is wondering if I want to play Enigma. How could I say no? I love to play Enigma. Hiding, waiting for the right moment, then turning the fight – it’s one of my favorite things in the world. I don’t know about other people, but when I get a huge black hole, I scream. I don’t mean a regular scream, I scream loudly. Nothing thrills me like these winning spells. But it’s not just me: when I start to leave, the rest of my team do too. Everyone is amplified and it’s amazing. This is why I love playing Enigma and why he will always be one of my favorite heroes. You know, Enigma is actually a funny hero to me. I played him enough that I was very comfortable with him. I know exactly what I want to do and it is all basically muscle memory. I don’t have to think so much because he’s one of my strongest heroes. The only downside is that it doesn’t last forever. You see, I have two modes in the Enigma games. The first is what I have already described and it starts at the start of the game and ends with a black hole. At some point in any Enigma game, a flip will flip in my head that says, “As long as I can land black holes, the game is over.” That’s all. No more autopilot, no more muscle memory, no more cold. This is where the nerves come in. It doesn’t matter whether you play your 9th game of Enigma or your 900th. When you play Enigma on stage, in an elimination game, nerves kick in. It’s inevitable. First your hands are shaking. Then your breathing becomes heavy. You can feel your heart beat faster. It all cascaded down from there. Some players cannot handle these nerves; the pressure breaks them. They will put themselves in the clutch position and suffocate. I was that player. Last season, I was in a better of a Chaos Esports Vs at Chongqing Major and I choked. I choked hard. I was just running, I had no idea what I was doing. Finally, thanks to the trust between me and my team, I came out. Now the nerves don’t ruin my game anymore. I don’t panic. I’m concentrating and that’s exactly what I did against TNC at Major Leipzig. It was the third game of our playoff game. They had nothing to interrupt my black hole, but if I got caught before I could use it, the game would be over. It was me against Gabbi’s Slark in a battle over who could catch whom. Fortunately, I was the fisherman and not the fish. Landing a black hole on three cores is nice, but landing a winning black hole on a mid-leap Slark? It’s incredible. The crowd applauds, banging on the table. My teammates were shouting “Nice. Pleasant! PLEASANT! ”Few things can match the feel of a good black hole. But there is one game that no Black Hole can compare: If you’ve played or watched Pro Dota, you know there is there is nothing more scary than a knockout game. A best of one means anything can happen and both teams will get the nerves. It’s often a matter of nerves and the team that handles them best will win. Some teams can’t take the pressure and that’s it, the tournament is over. Nerves got to me last year and despite my best efforts, I still felt them. Luckily it didn’t last long. . We chose Dark Willow and a wave of relief swept over me. Now I feel good. He’s my favorite hero. He’s my best hero. It’s my moment, I knew the game would go well, and I did. I felt so confident the whole time. We never let our heads slip away and, even though we hadn’t finished the game, we had a 60,000-point lead. It was invisible… Until it wasn’t. Despite one of the biggest leads in the history of professional Dota, we lost our mid and carry without redemption. Catch the silence. Almost two full minutes of nothing. I had lost all hope, I was almost in tears, but Boxi brought me back to the game. Honestly, I didn’t even think about it when they pushed our old one. I was just trying to play – to do whatever I could to defend the base. Somehow, without even thinking about it, this defense turned out better than I could ever have imagined … I won’t bother trying to describe it to you, you better watch it yourself. You wouldn’t believe the atmosphere after you wiped them out. There was so much screaming, especially from my teammates. I didn’t even realize it when they called GG, so I was trying to take down the throne and my teammates started pouncing on me. I told them, “Guys, the game is not over! WE HAVE REACHED THE THRONE! Oh? Have they ever called GG? This is where I lost him. I can’t really express what it was. Even though I could go back in time, I couldn’t describe it to you. It was the only time I felt so amazing. My team just attacked me and everyone was so happy. We couldn’t believe what had happened, I couldn’t believe what I had done. The best way to describe it is with one word: Hype. Imagine the biggest hype you’ve ever been in your life and double it. No, multiply it by ten. Take it and keep going, keep building until it can’t be contained. This moment made me realize something: anyone would have told you that defense was impossible. Even I would have told you that. But you know what? We did it, Boxi and I did it. Together. That’s how I realized it: iNSaNiA, Boxi, qojqva and MiCKe, with these guys by my side, every moment is my moment. By Joe Chilen

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